Karen Gwaltney, LMFT
EMDR, Coaching and Psychotherapy in Pasadena and all of California
Quality therapy and coaching will help you question the “shoulds.”
Shoulds are the expectations of others – what people think we should do or who we should be – from our families, teachers, peers, religious and political leaders, and the culture around us. They’re stories that shape our actions, telling us to be strong, independent, and competitive – or to stay quiet, serve others, and put our own needs last.
Over time, these messages begin to define us. They disconnect us from our true selves and from others, making us feel ashamed for wanting to live into who we truly are. We lose ourselves, ignore our needs, and suppress our emotions until we can’t recognize them. When what would serve us is to live authentically and pursue what we truly want, we either don’t know what that is or feel like we don’t have permission to go after it.
I’m Karen Gwaltney, and I use therapy (California only) and coaching (online, anywhere) to help people question the shoulds and uncover the values that are true to them.
I believe every person has the capacity to evolve, heal, and step into their best self.
Real, lasting change begins when you learn how to embrace your authentic self. It starts with tuning into your needs and desires, and learning to care for your nervous system so you're not running on empty – overwhelmed, shut down, and reactive, unaware and unable to choose your next steps with intention.
When you feel safe within yourself, everything begins to shift. You express yourself more clearly, stand by your boundaries with greater confidence, and nurture more fulfilling relationships. You begin to move through life knowing that you matter, that you have something meaningful to offer, and that you belong here.
How We Can Work Together
Therapy (for California Residents Only)
Unearth the stories from your past causing pain in your present. Traditional therapy excels at finding where those stories came from, why they’re there, and how they served you in the past. When we find the root story, we can start to uproot it.
Coaching (Online for Anyone)
In coaching, we focus on your present and future — troubleshooting blocks, gaining communication skills, replacing old patterns with healthier ones, role-playing and developing scripts for difficult interactions.
Ideas that inform my approach
Brene Brown’s work on shame and vulnerability, Carol Gilligan and Judy Chu’s research into the moral and social development of girls and boys, and Pia Mellody’s work on codependence and functional (vs. dysfunctional) relating are some of what inform my approach. I’ve trained in Restoration Therapy with Terry Hargrave as well as Relational Life Therapy (RLT) with Terry Real, and I’m getting certified as an Enneagram professional.
Spirituality also informs my approach. I unapologetically believe that consciousness continues beyond physical death. I believe all life has purpose, and that a life dedicated to cultivating love and compassionately managing the fear that is an inevitable part of human existence is a life well lived.
I used to believe that faith gave me certainty – but in truth, it was the illusion of certainty. I was never fully certain; I was always questioning. Through deconstructing my faith, I realized how much I had relied on that illusion for a sense of security. Now, I see the beauty in embracing uncertainty. There's depth in living within the tension, in being present and embodied, and in showing up authentically as yourself. Mental health isn’t about having all the answers – it’s about honesty, presence, and staying grounded in reality.
Areas of Specialty
Deconstructing Evangelical Christianity & Religious trauma
Conscious Couples Communication, Conscious Uncoupling and Co-Parenting
Codependence
Near Death Experience aftermath/processing
EMDR for relationship trauma, ruminating or anxiety after a traumatic event, dispelling negative or self-critical thought patterns.
